When you give everything, but you end up with nothing

Life is unfair. Why don't they understand me, they always say that I am crazy,... But I am not like that, I am friendly, carefull, joyfull. It seems that no one tries to make some effort to really know me. That is very hard for me. I find some sort of therapy, that you can overcome your fears. Everything that bothers you, can you wash away. My problems lay very diep, I think to much about life, I really don't know who I am and what direction I have to follow. I love my country, but no one cares about my country, everything in this world is always negative. It is like that people enjoying of someone else it's misery. Why can we not be honest in our ways of thinking and living. I love life, but people musn't be mean to me. I don't care if your lesbian, poor, rich, dark, blonde,... but if you nice to me than I am nice to you. Life is giving and taking. Isn't we are all so rich inside, and if your inside right than the rest follows. There are so many ways to solve your problems, but I can't stand the hateness anymore. I said to my mother that she didn't do anything for her country, she knows how important is for me. She says that I can't do that, I am weak. Is that an answer, why she giving up. she muss say that we can built it up back together, instead she says that you must go to your country, she knows that I can't do that by myself. She says that I have to take care about my kids, but she never take cares about herself. My house was broken from the begin, I built and trust, and at the end they all take it brutely away from me. Why, Oh I hate those bitches, I hope they alee burn. There is no feeling in this world anaymore, everything is empty and cold. I never wanted to believe in that, but now I am giving up. For what am I fighting, a world that doesn't exist in the mind of the people anymore, everything is at a lost. I am so so tierd to push myself in a better world, but I lose my faith in that. I am quite lodt and I don't have the energy to find my way back to home. btw Where is home, maybe myself is a better word. So tired....so tired...., I don't wanna believe anymore..., that sounds hard, but I don't wanna push myself hard anymore, I want to live easy and at my tempo. good night xxx